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Ladies and Gennlemen, we’ll soon be arriving in Berlin…

23rd June


And suddenly, that’s it. Done. The laughing, tearful whirlwind of farewells and parties still fresh in my mind but swirling like the raindrops on this ICE train window. On their way to a place where I can process them. But not yet. Not yet. They’re too precious, too complex. I’ll wait. Give them Time.


The original idea was to set out straightaway for Berlin after the Last.Day.Of.School. but that plan was scuppered with the news that storm “Lambert” was about to batter the land. The wave of disappointment didn’t last long though I was hit with an emotional and physical exhaustion that felt like I’d run three consecutive marathons (no I haven’t…) But it's amazing how a couple of great margaritas at Casita Mexicana can recalibrate the ol’ brain.


The 4.00 am start is a bit brutal. But I’m desperate not to miss the 05.10 tram and ,in turn, the 5.50 ICE. Arriving at the tram stop I’m informed there are 12 mins to wait. Great! Time to dash back and pick up the sunglasses I’ve left behind. It’s so hard to pack when it’s boiling hot and you’re anticipating all weather types.No matter. It’s sorted now and I’m on my way.


Düsseldorf main train station is bustling. And crisply damp after what feels like weeks of hot weather. The shelter on the platform is empty. I prise open the heavy glass door, plonk my case next to the wooden seat, sit down on the one nearest and inhale deeply.


The adventure can begin.


At the far end of the shelter, a small tramp lies sprawled across three seats. He snores softly. His arms are crossed over his chest. A grubby white bandage half sticks to the bruised and purpled knuckles of his swollen right hand. The trains go by…




And now it’s three hours into the journey. The storm has caused some delays. We seem to be stopped now at Hamm. Rain teeming. I half decipher from the garbled tannoy we’ll be coupling. Trains, I presume.I love this impressionist linguistic world I’ve come to inhabit over the years.


The man opposite me steps down onto the platform. Furtive vaping follows. With the warning sound to indicate doors closing, he hops back on pretty darn fast and perches opposite me. A fug of over sweetened strawberry air hovers over him. He looks sheepish. I venture a friendly comment in German: “Gutes Timing”. The look he gives me is a cross between frank horror and incomprehension, one I often get when I try out my German on a native speaker. I’m no longer phased by it. But it gets me thinking about how challenging it is to learn a language with gendered nouns. I ask my new PA, Chat GPT, about it. In spite of all the negative press, I like the opportunities it gives to brainstorm ideas. I’m wondering about the gender of Timing in German. As if there weren’t better things to idly wonder about at 08.00 on a wet Friday morning, riding through the sodden aftermaths of a nationwide storm.


Its two second response bamboozles me. I read the first, then skim the rest to see if I’ve made a big faux pas.


Determining the gender (der, die, or das) of English loanwords in German can be a bit tricky since there are no strict rules for it. However, there are a few guidelines you can consider:

  1. Check for cognates: If the English word has a cognate (a related word with a similar spelling and meaning) in German, the gender of the German cognate can provide a clue. For example, "Timing" in German is "das Timing" because it corresponds to the German word "die Zeit" (feminine).WHAT? Just WHAT?

The announcement cuts through the fug: “We’re running 25 mins late. Apologies”. He glares at me, screws his earbuds back in with drum-piercing vigour and closes his eyes.


Not such perfect timing after all.


At Hannover, frazzled passengers stumble on board. They’ve been unceremoniously hoiked out of their reserved train which is going no further and, with little explanation, shovelled into ours. I pick out the strains of two or three conversations in English - for some bizarre reason - between those sitting and those wishing to sit. All wave mobile phones in the other’s face. All show reservations for the same seat. Some win. Some lose.


Strains.


S Trains.


We’re approaching Berlin Spandau. Not long to go now.


Standing room only



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